I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
