She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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