the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They took my balls.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
