i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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