So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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