She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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