So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dignity is for republicans.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
