shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
