If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
