How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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