Sry I called you an 8
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
