I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
