I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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