Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Are my feet made of real feet?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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