My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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