I'm really into asian looking animals
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
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