I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
