got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
