so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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