I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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