Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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