Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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