I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
