As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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