hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
