Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
