i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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