If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize