Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the condom got lost in my hair
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
