Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
