What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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