I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Terrible idea I love it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
