I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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