Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
