i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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