so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
