I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
