Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Randomize
