I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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