I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
