whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
