Just mADE A PArabola og urine
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
