She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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