I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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