you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
