Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
