I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
