I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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