Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We left the knife in your bed.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
