I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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