forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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