Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize