ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
