My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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