When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
