Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize