I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
