If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
