I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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