you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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