it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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