i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
