I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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