i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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